Although I have known Pan for some time, I really got to know her much better as I spent a lot of time with her about half a year ago and she related much of her life’s story to me. I apologize if my memory fails and some of the details I relate are incorrect, but this is the best I can remember.
Pan was abandoned at birth by her parents and was raised by a grandmother. Soon after birth a rich, childless woman talked the grandmother into giving Pan up for adoption. However, after a week the grandmother had a change of heart and retrieved Pan. Pan did not seem to resent missing out on life with a rich family, but she would speculate what her life would have been like had her grandmother not taken her back. She imagined a college education and the different professions she might have fulfilled.
She would often talk about growing up in a very poor family where even a glass of milk was beyond the family’s financial grasp. I think many of us do not realize the extreme poverty many of these ladies experience and the resulting motivation to change their lives and the lives of their families. She looked forward to a family of her own someday but she wanted to be sure her children would not grow up in the same conditions she experienced. She would often say that when she had children of her own they would never want for a glass of milk.
She would often talk about a future with her boyfriend Brian (who I never met by the way) and looked forward to moving to the U.S. to start a family with him someday. I live about a half-day’s drive from Brian in the U.S. and she would talk about visiting with Brian and their children. I think she kind of considered me a big brother or uncle.
She loved to meet and communicate with foreigners on Facebook. I don’t think she was ever looking for a new boyfriend; she just loved to meet new people and joust with them. She would always be asking me to correct her English and improve her comical replies.
Once when I was in Pattaya she was taking a few days off to visit the family back in Isaan. I am not sure who the family consisted of currently other than an uncle. She would complain that she could not afford to go back and visit often because she would always bring back boxes of food and drink for the family. I'm not sure if she was also expected to bring gifts of money as well. She would also pack up a box of 20 or so bottles of beer. Oftentimes when the girls are purchased a bottle of beer on WebCam at FLB they don't drink them but save them and bring them back home. She had packed up a box of 20 or so such beers to bring back to the Isaan family.
I enjoyed many a meal with my girlfriend and Pan. As we all know, some of these Thai girls can eat an enormous amount of food. But from what I have seen, Pan is the all-time champion. We have been to several all-you-can-eat venues and I swear she can easily down twice the amount of food as I and I am no slouch at approximately twice her size. She would always seem happiest with a giant plate of food in front of her. Maybe the result of growing up in such impoverished conditions.
It is so hard to believe she is gone now and I will not break bread with Pan again in this life. I hope you have appreciated my thoughts about her and have not found it inappropriate.
Where ever you may be now Pan, I wish you the very best.
Your Friend Robert