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Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces


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#1 BigusDicus

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Posted 29 September 2018 - 12:47 PM

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an emergency, overnight referendum, the American people voted on Thursday to replace the United States Senate with a room full of monkeys throwing feces. The measure passed with 57% of the vote. 22% of voters thought the Senate should be replaced by barking seals, while 17% voted that the replacement should be the pit of venomous snakes from Indiana Jones. 3.97% voted that Senate members be replaced by screaming goats. "About 100 people" voted for the current Senators to keep their jobs, with this tiny voting bloc centered in Washington, D.C.

 

Highland Ape Rescue out of West Virginia will be teaming up with Cornwell Primate farms to supply hundreds of monkeys and apes to the Senate. The animals will be fed a nutritious mixture of foods that produce easily throwable feces. Protective glass will be put up around the Senate for camera crews to safely film, but anyone being interviewed by the new senators will have to sit in the middle of the poo-flinging octagon, coming under a heavy barrage of projectile excrement. 

“It will be a huge improvement from how things were before,” said ape trainer, Marlena Henwick. “No more 10-12 hour hearings. With these monkeys, all the fecal projectiles will have been flung in under 30 minutes. One and done.”

The recently replaced senators will be placed on display at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. for families to park attendees to observe and zoologists to study.
 

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#2 atlas2

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Posted 29 September 2018 - 01:17 PM

They will have to shoot a film called... “Planet of The Senators “

Really the Democrats have been vile throughout .


Edited by atlas2, 30 September 2018 - 02:57 AM.

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#3 midlifecrisis

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Posted 29 September 2018 - 01:37 PM

They will have to shoot a film called... “Planet of The Senators “

Really the Democrats have vile throughout .

 

It's win at all cost.


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#4 JONPAT

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Posted 30 September 2018 - 01:59 AM

Roseanna claims this is racist.  Monkey/Apes/etc...  are 'OFF LIMITS' dontcha know?


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#5 atlas2

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Posted 30 September 2018 - 03:07 AM

They've agreed to another FBI investigation...........The Dems know this can't have any other effect than to delay.........But it's unlikely to delay until the mid-terms......So I'm worried what they are really up to.

 

And on the subject of the FBI......they're 'civil servants'.....We now see the truth in Churchill's words.......'After a time, civil servants tend to become no longer servants and no longer civil.' 


Edited by atlas2, 30 September 2018 - 03:42 AM.

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